


The Tape Recorder

by MilleVoigt



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Advent Calendar, Character Death, Christmas, F/M, Falling In Love, Hidden Room, Love, Minor Liam Payne/Danielle Peazer, POV Liam, Reasons to die, Suicide, Suicide tapes, Tape recorder, cellar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 10:02:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5330039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilleVoigt/pseuds/MilleVoigt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody really want to die, that is the biggest load of bullshit ever. It is if you ask the one person who biggest wish was to die. Vanessa Davies. A girl who had been through fire and water until she broke. A girl who made sure to share her life with a tape recorder, before she took her own life. what happen when Liam Payne suggest a hidden cellar door? And is he going to hear the creepy tapes witch was recorded down there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

> _Hello. Yeah, this is me Vanessa! You don't exactly know me, I'm not a person many people pay attention to, but whatever.. Listen if you want to, and if not.. Then don't. There is just one thing you need to know, you are going to regret it if you don't, because then your going to miss an amazing story a.k.a my life._
> 
> _When you hear this tape, no matter who you are, you have to know, that I'm dead. Don't freak out, I'm not a ghost just take it easy. Right now the 30. November 2011, I am alive. But just for a short while._
> 
> _I might sound like a psychopath who needs thousands of meetings with a psychology I know, but if you listen to these tapes in the box, you might found out, that that is not the case. I will on these tapes explain why I choose to commit suicide._
> 
> _You know how it is to have a bad day? Of course you do, then try to imagine, that my life was like that every day. So of course I needed to do something, everybody would have done that, if they were me! Even you.._
> 
> _Maybe you think: What the hell is she talking about, dead is never the only way, but your wrong! See I already know you better than yourself! I_
> 
> _'m actually really good to se how people really is, somebody would think, that's a good thing, but not me, I thinks it's a curse._
> 
> _Sometime you really don't want to hear the truth, do you know that? That is actually one of the reasons why I don't want to live anymore, but you will hear more about that, if you choose to listen to the 24 tapes._
> 
> _Okay I am going to end this tape now, but remember you may not hear the next until tomorrow! It's like an advent calendar! So you can hear tape number 1 the first December! Witch is tomorrow wuhuu!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ▌▌
> 
> Hii guys, this is my first fanfic on english, so what do you think about the prologue?
> 
> \- let me know if you see some mistakes, im not that good to english.. :)


	2. The first tape

I was looking out of the window in my new house. A grey layer of sleet was laying over the front yard, looking like a typical november day. The threes who only had a few leaves, was dripping with raindrops, and you could se how the sun was no longer to be seen despite the early evening. It was a kin of sad weather, but still it gave me a feeling that Christmas was just around the corner.

I was really looking forward to December. I just loved how things were at Christmas. Everything was so peacefully and the atmosphere were just better. I loved how people seem to relax, but still you say that Christmas is the most stressful time of the year.

I turned away for the window and looked around the room, I was finally done whit the living room, and the kitchen, so I smiled relieved. It was actually turned out pretty well, my living room was looking just like I wanted it, and the kitchen were just fine.

It could be better if I could get some new door handles and curtains. But it wasn't something that were necessary.

I would just sleep on the couch the first days, till i get my bed, I should be here in two days, so it wasn't that bad, and my couch were not that hard to sleep on, it was actually pretty soft.

When I turned around and walked out into the kitchen, I walked over to fridge to set it in an outlet, but the cable wasn't long enough, so I decided to move it a little to the right. When I moved the fridge and moved away to se if it was standing right, I suddenly discovered a door right beside the fridge, it was the same color as the wall, and it hasn't a dorr knob so it wasn't that visible, I walked over there and tried to opted it, but it was hard, it felt like it hadn't been opened in a very long time.

"Strange" I whispered, the realtor hadn't showed me this? Maybe he didn't even know it was there?

I gave the door a hard push, and it looked like it helped a little, so I did it a few more times, to the door finally opened. A smell of old dust and smoke was filling my nostrils. The room was dark, and there wasn't an outlet, so I just turned on my flashlight on my phone.

Some of the room was now visible, and I could see stairs. I considered to not go down there, but I was to curios, so I ended up stepping d a few steps in, and when I looked at the wall, I discovered a few pictures hanging on it, most of them of a woman in the mid thirties, she had long brown curled hair, and she was smiling to the camera.

I stepped further down the stairs, and was still looking at the wall were serval quotes were hanging, some of them were covered in dust, so i could not see what they said. Another one was saying "Dont trust anyone" And serval of them had word like "Death" and "Suicide" it gave me a very bad feeling.

The few pictures there was having a few steps more down were all depressive. It was all pictures of sad things like eyes filled whit tears and arms covered in blod. I was seriously going to take them down, they gave me goosebumps.

I took the last steps down, and when i looked around i could se the room was filled with paintings, pictures, and bookcases. Something gave me the feeling that the person who lived here were very poetic and a little insane. Maybe the person was a serial killer? Okay maybe not, I sure the realtor would have told me that! Because seriously who is going to move into a house were a serial killer just moved ut? exactly!

I walked over to a red couch, witch were standing in the middle of the room, i book was laying on top of it, I took it up, and took away the layer of dust it had on it. It was clearly more than 2 years since someone had used some of the stuff down here.

I sat down on the couch, and turned to the first page in the book . a piece of paper fell out. There was nothing on the paper, but when I looked at the page in the book, I could see 3 words, the paper were hiding. Sorry not sorry.I turned over to next page, but there wasn't anything, the book was completely blank.

I signed and got up, I was going to remove all the creepy stuff, and then make it a lot nicer down here.Maybe painting the walls white so the bright color would light the room up a little.

I walked around the room, when I finally found an outlet, witch I turned on. The room was immediately filled whit lights, just enough so i could see. I could finally look around whiteout my phone, so I took it away.

In the other end of the room was a piano placed. I smiled and walked over to it. A painthing was hanging over it whit a piece af paper in the corner of it. Stop it the text said. I sad down on the chair by the piano. I played a few tones at the piano, the dust was making the sound bad, but it was still in perfect condition, I was going to keep it.

On the top of the piano I could se a tape. I took it and got up. Maybe I should go up and pack the rest out.Then maybe I could relax all the day tomorrow. I turned around when I suddenly bumbled in to something. I heard a lot of stof felling to the flor. "Oh god" I mumbled and looked down. A box was laying on the flor whit all of the stof inside laying around the flor.

I sat down and checked what it was. A tape recorder.. I took the tape in my hand and looked from it to the tape recorder. Could it possible be.. Maybe this was the killer, who explained his plan to murder his family.

I put the tape on, first a crashing sound was filling my ears but soon beautiful music was suddenly playing. It was recorded from the piano,

I smiled the person who recorded this, was amazing! Better not be a killer then!

When the tape stopped, I looked around. More tapes were laying around the floor with different numbers on it. I discovered a piece of paper, witch was hanging on the recorder. I took it and fold it out. "Just put the tapes on, its free" I mumbled confused.I found the tape whit the number 1 on, and put it on whit shaking hands.

The crashing sound were back, and soon a beautiful girl voice were filling the room.

> _Hello. Yeah, this is me Vanessa! You don't exactly know me, I'm not a person many people pay attention to, but whatever.. Listen if you want to, and if not.. Then don't._
> 
> _There is just one thing you need to know, you are going to regret it if you don't, because then your going to miss an amazing story aka my life._
> 
> _When you hear this tape, no matter who you are, you have to know, that I'm dead. Don't freak out, I'm not a ghost just take it easy. Right now the 30. November 2011, I am alive. But just for a short while._
> 
> _I might sound like a psychopath who needs thousands of meetings with a psychology, I know, but if you listen to these tapes in the box, you might found out, that that is not the case. I_
> 
> _will on these tapes explain why I choose to commit suicide._
> 
> _You know how it is to have a bad day? Of course you do, then try to imagine, that my life was like that every day. So of course I needed to do something, everybody would have done that, if they were me! Even you.._
> 
> _Maybe you think: What the hell is she talking about, dead is never the only way, but your wrong! See I already know you better than yourself! I'm actually really good to se how people really is, somebody would think, that's a good thing, but not me, I thinks it's a curse._
> 
> _Sometime you really don't want to hear the truth, do you know that?_
> 
> _That is actually one of the reasons why I don't want to live anymore, but you will hear more about that, if you choose to listen to the 24 tapes._
> 
> _Okay I am going to end this tape now, but remember you may not hear the next until tomorrow! It's like an advent calendar! So you can hear tape number 1 the first December! Witch is tomorrow wuhuu!_

I was sitting speechless when the crashing started again.

What the hell was that? A girl who committed suicide and im sitting in the cellar were she recorded the tapes? It couldn't be real, maybe someone was playing a really good joke?

Why on earth had the realtor not showed me this. Did he know it was there? probably not.. I looked at the other tapes, maybe I should just throw them out. Or should I hear the rest first?

I was really confused, maybe I should just go to sleep and think of it tomorrow. Like the girl said. "you may not hear the next until tomorrow! It's like an advent calendar!" strange that the first December was to tomorrow, how is the chance that I found the tapes the exact same date it was recorded 5 years ago.

I took a deep breath and looked at the recorder. I started the tape again and the crashing sound appeared, I Needed to hear it one more time.

> _Hello. Yeah, this is me Vanessa! You don't exactly.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ▌▌
> 
> Hii agian too this is the first chapter! Let me know what you think of it. (:
> 
> I am going to publish at least two times every week, maybe more. I already has the story, but its on Danish, so i am translating it. <3


	3. The second tape

The first December 2015. that's it peps, Christmas is finally over us! I just woke up, and was now laying on my couch. The December sun was shining through the steamy windows, and was probably the reason why I woke up. But it was okay, I had been so exited for Christmas, so it was okay to be up early. Okay early and early it was 9:30, but it was early for me.

our band was having a break the next month, so I actually promised myself to be in bed to a least 11 every morning, but something woke me up today. I'm not exactly sure if it had something to do with the sun or the thoughts of the cellar door right beside the fridge.

The memories from last night appeared in my head, the girl... Who was she? Should I hear the rest of the tape or should I just forget about it? It could be a silly joke from a group of people who just wanted a god laugh. But on the other hand, why would people do that? And if they wanted people to see it, then why make it that hard to find the door?

 I was just lucky that the fridge cable weren't long enough, or else i hadn't found the door. It knew it was not a good Idea to go down there again, but on the other side the girl were death, what could It hurt to hear just one more?

I walked out in the kitcen and over to the door. I found my iPhone and turned on the flashlight.

When I opened the door I could not resist to look at the pictures, even though it made me sad. It was insane how much work the girl had laid in this room, there were not a singe spot were you could see the wall, it was completely covered in pictures and quotes. And they were all about the same; reasons why not to live.

I promised myself that I would take the stuff down soon, but not right now I needed to hear the next tape. i needed to found out more about the girl, who she was, and if she really were dead.

I moved slowly down the stairs and over to the outlet, where I turned on the light. The room then lighted up a little, but still not enough so that i could se the room clearly. Then I moved over the tape recorder I started looking for the next tape.

I found tape number 2, but when I looked at it I could see that the words 2 december, where standing just above the big number 2. So it wasn't tape number 2 witch were the next. I kept looking until I finally found one with the number 1½ on it. I hesitated before I started the tape.

_I'm to fat How many times, do you think a girl had said that sentence over a lifetime?_

She was right; girls complained all the time over how fat they were.

I _'ll admit, that sentence had leaved my mouth several times in the 17 years I had lived. People are telling me often that I'm to thick, and that's the reason why I do anything to lose weight. Somebody would say, that I have anorexia. Who knows maybe I have? But I'm fine to admit that now._

_If you asked me a few mouths ago, I would have thought you were ironic._

So the girl was 17 years old, and she suffered from anorexia. I didn't know if this story really were real, but something made me want to hear the rest.

_Isn't it insane, that small word like "Fat cow can affect a person that much. I think its insane how people cant see how much you do to the person when you tell them they are fat. I know it's just a word, but like you say, a word hurts more than actions. And that's totally right, when you hit a person, what does it take? 4 days for a black eye to stop hurting? But when you call people a word witch make them try to nearly starve them self to dead, then it actually takes more than a few days to get over, some of the people in fact dies, just because people make them think they aren't beautiful enough._

She was so right, many of our fans were doing the exact same thing to them self, and I couldn't understand it, I made me sad.

_Words affects more than you think, and I hope that when I'm dead, and people hear this, they would start thinking about the fact that I committed suicide because of a word._

_For a few moths ago, when I was walking to school, with my music playing load in my ears. Then suddenly my headphones were ripped out of my ears, and when I turned around I was meet with a very mad Jessica, she was looking at my top, and before I knew it was ripped in two. And you know why? Because I was wearing the same top as her, and she didn't mean that a fat cow like me could wear a pretty top like that, it was only beautiful people like herself that were aloud to wear that._

_So she just blotted my bra to the entire school, just because I wasn't as pretty as her. What the hell was wrong with people._

I was well aware that I didn't know the girl, but the story she just told made me so angry, I wish I could have helped her.

_So that why I decided that I would do anything to try and lose weight. And I did, my body was finally looking totally perfect, but even though I said to myself that I were looking just the way I wanted, I still tried to loose more. It was like a curse, I couldn't stop. Every time I eat something with too many calories, then after two minutes I would hang over the toilet and get it all out of my system again._

_I know that it's dangerous, but I just can't stop. And you know why? Because of the words. They are still in the back of my head telling me that I am not good enough. Its that really how you want to live, if you asked my, NO! And that why I decide to kill my self, I dint want to think about calories everyday, but I CANT stop... I am actually not afraid to die, I'm curios. You know, what happen after the death. Will the death bring me to heaven or the hell? Maybe im standing right behind you right now as a ghost. I know I told you earlier that im not, but who knows?_

I looked around the room, creepy, if she was standing in the room right now looking at me.. It was actually pretty exciting, what would happen after the death. Don't get me wrong, I could wait.

_By the way happy Christmas, and welcome to the times of miracles, isn't that what people say? That Christmas is the time of miracles? Isn't it ironic, that I'm committing suicide on Christmas Eve, what a miracle?_

_Her laugh filled the room, and got the shivers down my spine. Don't get me wrong I love Christmas, Actually I made a advent wreath, and is actually turned out pretty well... ish. Isn't it funny that I spend one of my last days, making a advent wreath? Okay this tape turned out being pretty long, so I think I will end it. Okay so the first reason why I decide to take the chance and see if there is a better place after the death is the thoughts of not being good enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ▌▌
> 
> Hi so this is chapter two, let me know what you think! (:
> 
> i know its a bit short, but i promise the next one is going to be longer!


End file.
